scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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