I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
