you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
