sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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