If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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