She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
where are you?
Hypothermia
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
