Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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