Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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