Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
