Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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