i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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