you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
