So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
