I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
