end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
this just has baby written all over it
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
