I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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