Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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