I love black thongs
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
