glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
