as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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