If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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