So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
did i walk over a car last night?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
