I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
