Are we in a gay sports bar?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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