It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
