You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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