You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
