I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
