The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
