Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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