i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize
