he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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