I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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