Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
