This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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