ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
