I got chris browned last night
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
