Screwed.edu
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
