If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
No subtext here. People are naked.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
