she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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