There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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