the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
