If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
