mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
