Someone shit on the floor
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
