oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Please, let me fuck your mom
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Green mimosas i think yes
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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