You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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