from now on my penis is your penis
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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