"it" just moved
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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