Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
