: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
