It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
