Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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