he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
