The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
