In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
