I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
