If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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