I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
