I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
