He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
