ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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